Authored By Max
It's fairly likely that if you meet at 11am for a 7:45pm kick off only a two hour train ride away, things will get messy. We had a quick bit of breakfast before doing the first drinks of the day in the Weaver in Barnet, before getting the tube to Liverpool Street. Our train was at 1:30 and we had some time to kill, so we got stocked up on tinnies for the train and played a game of just naming lots of random ex-premiership players from the mid 90's and making each other laugh. Great fun! Sasa Curcic, Peter Ndlovu, Carl Leaburn, etc etc. Try it some time.
We departed for Norwich on time and there was about 15 of us on the train. The drinks were flowing and a most amusing journey was had. This included a most random moment when the train driver announced our imminent arrival into Chelmsford, followed by everyone in the group cheering, completely unprompted and for no apparent reason. You had to be there I guess - EH. We got to Norwich at around half 3 and were soon in the Wetherspoons not far from the ground. The drinks were fantastically cheap and this led to probably a few too many being consumed by a good number of us, but all in good fun! We had some great banter with the Norwich fans in there, which continued as we left for the ground, wobbling all over the place, but in good voice.
Got in for £1, Under 16 price, which was a touch. There were 480 Barnet fans there, a decent turn out by our standards and I can honestly say we were fantastic, for the whole 90 minutes. Despite crazily being 5-0 down after 30 minutes, we did not stop singing, one of those 'proud to be a Barnet fan' moments, or something. Admittedly I wasn't so loyal to the cause, I spent much of the 2nd half drinking in the concourse and missed both our goals, but ran up to celebrate both. Going topless to our game at Morecambe must have started something off with me, as for some reason I took my shirt off and waved it about a bit when Birchall made it 5-2. For the last 15 minutes I was back up in the stand and the atmosphere we created was sublime. It was the best we've had at a game for a very long time. Quality stuff!
As for coming home, well, this is maybe where the story starts rather than ends...
We had tickets for the 10pm train, the last one and to get it would be a struggle. If the game had gone to extra time, it would have been missed and we'd have been screwed. However, in our drunken states, 4 of us decided a night in Norwich was a good idea. A few of my friends had been chucked out by Norwich's disgraceful stewards, seriously, they were unbelievable, very few of our supporters who were ejected had done much wrong, stewards right up there with the worst, so be warned if you're planning a trip to Carrow Road. Anyway, the said mates were in a bar called Squares not far from the ground, so I joined them there and we sat about a bit, before deciding to go to this club called Mercy, which is supposedly fantastic.
We definitely went far too early, about half 10. On the way there we had a bit of banter with some locals, singing "2-0, in the second half" and so on, before getting to this club. It wasn't bad in there I suppose, a Tuesday night when there are no students there is never going to be peak time though, is it? All was going alright though and we were having a good laugh, until about 12am my mate who'd been drinking all day more or less passed out. He was too out of it, we had to leave and get him somewhere to lie down. Nightmare. Norwich train station it was...
After putting our paraletic friend on the bench, we realised the situation we were in. The first train back to London wasn't until 10 past 5. FIVE hours time!
Well, I suppose we made the best(ish) of a bad situation and had a laugh at times. About 3am they were locking the station and this sound chap who worked there allowed us to go and wait on the London train. He even put the lights out to allow us to sleep. I didn't manage to though, none of us except the lad who was passed out did properly and instead did things like climb in the luggage racks and on the tables, looking for the best place to get some sleep. Trains are bloody uncomfortable. Very surreal being sat in a dark train at Norwich station in the middle of the night, with three mates, something I never expected would happen to me anyway.
So 5:10am comes and at last, we're off. All trying to get some sleep, a few minutes in. "Tickets please."
Oh. Dear.
Two of us had tickets, but for the night before's last train, the other two didn't. We offered to pay a fine if they billed us it, as we all had barely any cash on us. But no, just our luck, 5am and we get some jobsworth bird who really just was heartless. Then she got the train manager to come along, somehow he was even more of an idiot. It was just unreal. Anyway, at 5:28am the train pulled into Diss (I remember looking at the station clock). And we were chucked off. 100 miles from home, in a small market town/village even, with about a tenner between four of us. I just had to stand there and laugh myself silly, or I'd have probably cried my eyes out. What next?
We decided walking to try and find a busy road, if we were lucky one to a motorway was a good plan, to see if we could hitch hike it. Fair to say this proved fairly unsuccessful and we found ourselves just walking around almost aimlessly. Things were not good. One mate got so thirsty..he licked a puddle. Never did I think I'd see that, nor then my other mate say 'thats a good idea' and do the same thing. Unbelievable. We were all quite in need of a drink and I am sorry to whoever's it was, but we found a milk bottle on a front step. I don't even like drinking milk, but we polished it off in no time...only to spot a garage in the distance. Stocked up on water and crisps, that was about as far as things could stretch. Whilst we were in there though, came a rather funny moment. This women, maybe late 50's, early 60's marched in and put the empty milk bottle down on the counter, looked at my friend who'd taken it and went off on one... "Ya thieving bastards! I saw ya! I saw ya!"
It shouldn't have been, but it was bloody hilarious. Her voice was comical, it wasn't even her milk bottle either. We were all too tired to properly argue, but aside from one of us just looking at her and saying 'I don't need you' we didn't bother and just walked off. We'd done maybe half a mile in the direction of Thetford (that was signposted as 18 miles away anyway) before deciding we were never going to get home like this, it had to be the train. So at about half 6, we walked back to Diss Station and boarded another Liverpool Street bound train.
Thankfully, this time we had a bit more humane ticket inspector! He wasn't impressed, but dished us out fine's instead of kicking us off. £36 each, lucky I did some overtime at work during the rest of the week that followed. I was the only one who paid it, none of the others did, nor did they ever get anything for not doing so. Typical. Anyway, we got back to London at about 8am and I was home by half 9. Walking around the busy business area of Liverpool Street with everyone rushing around in suits whilst we all walked around a bit dazed and confused was quite surreal. So many fit birds too, for some reason, just the most weird/horrible/but sort of funny experience.
I slept for 3 hours when I got home, then I had work, but came home after a bit saying I was 'sick.' I wasn't, I was just fucked from the night.
One of the weirdest nights ever, an odd game too...but a bloody good laugh! Looking back. At the time a lot of it seemed horrendous, but I doubt I'll ever forget Norwich away! Certainly a story to look back on in a few years time!
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