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Cuckoo Fuck Pigs
A trip to our friendly local neighbours By: Max Bygraves 14/11/2021
Wealdstone A
13/11/2021   (Click date for match details)
League 2021-2022
L  0- 1
Attendance: 2622  (672 Away)




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Wealdstone away. After a season of no proper away games, from the moment the fixtures were out in the summer, this must have been the first many looked for. It got me and several others out of the woodwork and I must admit to being quite up for it beforehand. A local fixture that hadn’t been played in front of a crowd since 1988, with all sorts of politics in between, and it promised much.

Getting the tube across London in the early afternoon, I was surprised to find myself in the same carriage as Mitch Brundle, Mason Bloomfield and Jordan Thomas en route to Ruislip. Whether that was a practical move from the club for them to travel in that way or yet more penny pinching by he who must not be named, I don’t know. They were all in good spirits anyway when being wished well upon our departure from the station.

After a couple of very nice, previously untried craft beers at the Hop & Vine on Ruislip High Street with several old faces, it was time to head to Grosvenor Vale. The walk to the ground was not the gauntlet of hate I and others had perhaps feared. All very calm and quiet. Once inside, it was a bit of a surprise as to just how bad a football ground for the fifth tier it is. The view from any terrace-based point was simply appalling. I sincerely wish they had a nice, purpose-built stadium in HA8.

It was a boisterous away support behind the goal. Encouraging to see such a strong youth presence – essential to the future of the club. The young lads seemed to very much enjoy it other than having to be corrected with, ‘Have you ever won the conference, have you fuck?’ being pointed at the 1985 winners. I remember how it was to be keen and young, but come on boys, in the google at your fingertips age, do your research, eh?

There was quite a lot of anti-Wealdstone stuff being directed at the home end. I know it’s the way of the football fan these days, but a shame to hear so many songs just copied with the words changed from other clubs. I long for the days of the stupid originality of ‘Hello, Hooray, it’s such a nice day for Matty Redmile!’ and similar. That’s not a Barnet thing, it’s nationwide, everyone singing stuff to the Beautiful South’s ‘Rotterdam’ tune and so on, but it’s a shame to lose that individuality. Bring back Westy, I say.

The game itself – it’s hard to say what it was like, given the terrible view. Certainly not a classic and a draw may have been the fairest outcome but someone nicking it by the odd goal wasn’t a shock. I couldn’t see our nearly goal in the first half (I understand it hit the post but only read this afterwards), nor their winner in the second. Chances were at a premium and other than a good spell from Barnet at the beginning of the second half, not much struck me as significant. A few questionable decisions but I’m not sure we did enough to warrant that being the only excuse for the score line.

Despite no longer being a regular, I have to admit I was still absolutely gutted by the events in the final minute. No idea if it was a fair goal or not, but the bundles in the away end were top drawer and went on for what felt like a considerable amount of time before it was disallowed. Someone then spread a rumour the ref had overruled the linesman’s decision before the whistle went for a goal kick. Hideous. That would have been a great way to finish.

There was no big push in added time and the game ended 1-0 to the hosts. At last, we heard some noise from the otherwise very passive home support. On our way out, it sounded like the social club was rocking. Strange that they were so quiet on the terraces throughout, given the significance of this to them.

Interesting events in the ground with Brennan seemingly trying to keep the team on the pitch in the hope of the home fans leaving. That was never going to happen and I can see why they stayed back to give the Barnet side and manager a farewell.

I have no issue with Wealdstone’s reasons for hating Barnet and personally reside very much on their side when it comes to The Hive, but they were surprisingly flat today - during the game anyway. My take away from being there and seeing their social media behaviour this week is that they are a very weird little club. Some interesting characters of theirs on twitter who have been all over our activity. Hence the name of this article. Odd folk, indeed.

Taking a step back and looking at things in perspective, this is yet another massive low for Barnet FC. The fans were very much with the team and gave them a good reception at the end – however, let’s be realistic about how dreadful losing to part-time Wealdstone (again) is. As recently as Barnet’s first season at The Hive, Wealdstone were in the same division as Enfield Town and Wingate & Finchley. Yet another embarrassment in the post-Underhill era. This was not how it was supposed to be.

It was refreshing to hear fans actually registering their discontent with the man who has chipped away at the soul, spirit and anything important about the club in the last decade. I wonder if that will continue or whether apathy will come back to reign supreme. A few ticket promos and new beers on tap in the bar at the ground won’t gloss over the farce he has made the football club. Huge amounts of work still need to be done to build any sort of trust.

I loved seeing old friends today and swaying about on a terrace with a terrible view of dire football. It took me back to good old times. But the future remains as uncertain and probably bleak as it has for a while, with this current incarnation of Barnet FC.

Still, I appear to have the bug, ever so slightly, again. I’ll be back at some point for reasons unexplained.




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